I started bleeding again on Monday 26 Jan. It was 5pm and I’d just gone to the toilet. I’d stopped bleeding for about 5 days and I thought it would be ok. I stained my panties and I wiped myself again and again to somehow convince myself it isn’t blood.
I was mentally preparing myself that losing you is a reality I have to accept now. I was lost. Not sure if I should wait since my checkup was the next day or go to KK straight or go to AMK clinic.
I got on the cab to go KK. The taxi driver was an abang, who in other circumstances would be a friendly driver, who asked me personal questions that I didn’t have the mind to answer. To shut him up, I said I’m going for a checkup and this is my second kid. I stay in Ang Mo Kio and my husband is waiting for me at taxi stand.
Unfortunately or fortunately, he shared that he envied me. He’s been trying for a family for 7 years and he doesn’t know how long it’s going to take. He said nothing seems wrong with him or the wife and he is envious I am going to have 2 kids at my age. Whatever it is, someone who is trying, would be thankful for my situation even though it isn’t promising. That’s finding the positive and I’m not so bad. I left the cab feeling that that chance encounter is sign I am in a better place than others, no matter what.
The doctor said the heartbeat is still there. You are now 4mm from last week’s scan of 1.5mm. At first, she said you are 4cm and I was so thankful. But she read wrongly. She explained that bleeding is common in early pregnancies but because of my complications, I do have to monitor. She said based on measurement, you are now 6 weeks. I still have you my little one. I just need you to fight and continue growing ok?
Little one, this is for you. 