To worry yet not worry

Little Lulu

You are very active and weigh a whopping 1.9kg at 31 weeks. The average is 1.4-1.6kg. No wonder my pelvic muscles and soles of feet hurt.

My legs have changed to accomodate this new weight gain and pressure. I’m glad I wear long pants cos there are red stretch marks and veins at the back of my legs. These are caused by the increase in blood volume in my body but the flow coming back up to my heart is very slow due to gravity and the loosening of the blood valves. Thus, the reddish bumpy veins.

I waddle even more than I already have. It hurts to walk. Every step, my soles scream in pain, as though I’m going through stones’ reflexology.

You are so heavy, my dear.

Today, you didn’t nudge me awake like you usually do about 5-6am. I thought you must be sleeping. I took a shower, drank 3 cups of cold water to wake you but you remained in deep slumber.

I didn’t like it one bit.

I know your pattern and you would have been nudging and up and about. I waited for the cold water to kick in. Still nothing.

I called the labour ward and since it’s been an hour that I’ve not felt you move, I had to go in and get checked.

Lucky Daddy was at home and wasn’t working. Can you imagine how worried we were? I didn’t dare to think anything bad lest my worry and stress chemicals get to you. Yet I was concerned.

Do you know how difficult it was to worry and not worry?

You remained quiet even after I moved you around and poked you. I was put on observation for an hour plus. We heard your rapid heartbeat and you pushed away the CTG disk attached to my tummy. Other than that, you were still.

I’ve been put on MC this week and will see doctor tomorrow. From the time I left hospital till 5pm, we were anxiously doing the kick count. You reached 10 kicks only at 7pm. Normally, after eating, a cold drink or when you are restless, the nudges come fast and furious.

It is very hard not to worry and worry at the same time. I tried to do work and chores and play games. Anything to relax. I pray and I play with the cats. The braxton hicks are getting more frequent. It makes me break out in cold sweat and causes me much discomfort. Doctor says it’s early for you to come out and you have showed no signs of such… like water bag burst or contractions with backache.

Do you know Coco cat and Petal girl came to sayang my tummy? In the morning, Petal (who doesn’t come to rub you at all.) came to my tummy as I’m sitting and rub her head on it. When I came back, Coco jumped towards me and kissed/sniffed my face.

These cats know Mommy’s worried. I’ll share with you more stories about them and how they’ve comforted (or annoyed) me during my loss and when I’m carrying you. I hope you get along with them. They have provided me with much-needed comfort and company.

Lulu, I know it’s getting cramped in my womb now at 32 weeks. You are in engaged position and might not move around too much. But you need to let me know you are alright. Not stay still for 12 hours. Even an hour is too much.

I wish I have the teletubbies TV in my tummy to see you.

wap.parette.net

How we found out about you

Our first angel went back to the Almighty in Feb ’14. You can read about that here.

After a miscarriage, the body takes about 3 months to recover. Just like childbirth. A fellow mommy said that miscarriage is like having 2 births – your body is in shock, preparing for birth that will not happen and fast-forwarding to giving birth, just no baby. That’s how my lump grew. It was a trigger of hormones plus blocked milk ducts. My body was confused and in that confusion, a lump grew. My post about discovering that is available here.

I went to a gynae for a 2nd opinion on my hormones. Unfortunately, 6 mths after, I’m still urinating more often, still experiencing hot flushes, and the mood swings, and my period was irregular. It gave us a few skipped heartbeats every time it came earlier or later, never on time anymore, that I grew tired of charting my menstrual cycle.

The gynae prescibed me Clomid, which i WILL NEVER recommend to anyone, unless you’ve been trying very hard for a child.

The gynae prescribed it to encourage ovulation. His theory was that my body wasn’t ovulating well so since we were trying anyway, this medicine would help my body to stabilise the hormones by actually helping us to get pregnant.

The downside was… I experienced majority, if not ALL, the side effects.

From advancedfertility.com:

Clomid side effects

Clomid treatment has some potential for adverse effects. Side effects are definite “cons” of clomiphene use. Adverse effects are seen in some, but not all women using the drug.

• Mood swings, psychological / emotional side effects
• Hot flashes
• Abdominal discomfort
• Visual disturbances
• Ovarian cyst formation
• Nausea
• Thinning of the uterine endometrial lining
• Reduced production of cervical mucous – this can lower fertility (bypassed by insemination)

I was soooo depressed, Daddy couldn’t bear to see me through it. I was moody, not talking, I just wanted to be alone. On days he worked the afternoons, or if he left for night shift, I cried myself to sleep again and again. It was not a wonderful feeling to have.

When I told people I was on this pill, their reactions were as expected. They didn’t understand. They thought the problem was I couldn’t get pregnant, that I was on drugs (medically) all this time and think what it would do to my liver, I was dependent on drugs to get pregnant, that I was having depression.

I was angered at all that because I sought help as my body didn’t realise it wasn’t pregnant anymore. It should have stabilised after a few months but it was still making me feel that I was carrying child. Which was the opposite of what the general population would go through – the body would rectify itself and try to normalise everything.

I wasn’t trying to get pregnant yet – we took it as it is but I was just a mess. I couldn’t get my words out to Daddy…I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. I didn’t even know why I was feeling this way. And he didn’t know how to help me either.

So clomid it was.

And the gynae said we should continue trying as there is an egg to be fertilised. I wasn’t about to let my mood swings and depression go to waste. Or everything that I’d gone through so I made Daddy promise he will try with me.

I kinda forced him actually. He works shifts, meaning he had to put in extra effort and energy, to fulfill this for me.

And so we tried.

My period was as usual, late, and I didn’t want to test although Daddy said we should. I didn’t want to be disappointed like all the previous months when my period was late.

That day, I remember, Daddy was sleeping when I decided that ok, I shall test. Just get it over and done with. We had bought lots of the $1.80 pregnancy test kit from Mustafa, courtesy of Mommy’s best friend’s recommendation. (A branded test kit costs about $20 ok) I was going to work so it was early morning.

I tested and bright as day, it had two lines. Just like the first time.

I rushed to wake Daddy and shoved the kit in his face. He had this Huh look and half-smile, thinking if it’s what I was showing him. We both didn’t dare to be too excited in case it was a false alarm. So the plan was I’d get to work and test again, buying a branded test kit from the supermarket to be sure.

I tested and the result was again, positive.

That was on 6 Nov 2014. You were then called Baby Clo.

Runny nose – pregnancy rhinitis

I was sneezing and my nose was dripping. It felt like sinus (without the pain) and flu (without the fever and body aches). My eyes were watery and I felt so uncomfortable as the tickle and trickle of the nasal liquid dripped down.

Sleeping took even longer as I tried to decongest my nose or tried not to sneeze everywhere.

I had the pregnancy runny nose, otherwise known as rhinitis.

Well, at least a runny nose is better than a stuffy nose no? 😦

The phlegm should be watery and clear, with the occasional opaque whitish kind, but if it starts to change colour to green/yellow/brown, you know you are just kidding yourself. That’s an infection. Plus, if you have fever and body aches, well gee, good luck, that’s the sign you have the flu or cold.

I look like I was crying with my watery eyes and sneezing at everything. It wasn’t often – I had it in the morning (lasted a few hours) and at night when I’m sleeping. It gets triggered even more when I kiss the cats or the place is dusty.

I never like taking medicines. That principle was more firmly strengthened when doctors couldn’t explain why I was bleeding during my first miscarriage. I bled non-stop for about 2 months and they just couldn’t explain why.I thought if a professional couldn’t tell me what’s wrong, who can? And why should I take their meds?

(This is the link about me starting bleeding while I was pregnant with my first)

So I turned to natural remedies and alternative/natural healing. Basically, nourishing my body so it will fight on its own.

I took manuka honey instead of sugar with my milo or tea. I had a cup of warm honey whenever I felt the ticklish throat coming. I didn’t want my pregnancy runny nose developing into a more serious case of flu or cold! That will be awful!

Manuka honey is well-known for:

Preventing and treating cancer

• Reducing high cholesterol
• Reducing systemic inflammation
• Treating diabetes
• Treating eye, ear, and sinus infections
• Treating gastrointestinal problem

(from http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/manuka-honey-medicinal-uses?page=3)

I then had to increase my Vitamin C intake and drown (even more) water. I drink water a lot because I get so thirsty from the pregnancy and weather, so you can imagine how bloated I feel -.- It flushes out toxins and makes you go pee (even so much more) but hey, I didn’t want to feel miserable.

This is the Vitamin C I took from Elken, which you can order from facebook.com/purplespree
(I got the Manuka honey from an overseas trip. If you are getting from local stores, make sure it’s pure manuka honey)

At night, I rubbed Vicks on my chest and on the soles of feet. It helps to ease congestion and for me to breathe easier. Like I said, it wasn’t easy finding a comfortable position to sleep as it is and breathing through your mouth isn’t exactly easy either, considering your baby is pushing against your diaphragm (lungs/ribcage).

The effects are pretty immediate. You go toilet more often, you cough more to expel phlegm, your nose drips more and I’m very glad to say that in 3 days, I feel SO MUCH better. Natural healing will take slightly longer than popping pills but I do believe it helps your body to fight against bacteria through its own strength.

With western medicines aka drugs, you are teaching your body to be dependent on external help. It may even develop resistance to that medicine and that’s why sometimes doctors prescribe other meds… because our body is not responding or is immune to the drugs.

If you don’t like popping Vit C, go au natural! Take loads of oranges (but it does increase phlegm), orange juice, or other Vit C natural products. It will take even longer as you need to have it in large doses.

If I didn’t clear my runnny nose, hubby wouldn’t let me go to a Backstreet Boys’ concert happening tomorrow… we bought tickets sometime back (and it’s not easy to get!) and they are my first childhood boyband that I fell in love with.

After this, there won’t be other concerts I’m going to unless it’s kids-related. So I HAVE to get better or at least, don’t show that I feel so sick.:P

Little one, please behave… mommy wants to see BSB before we pop…then we can sing and dance all we want at home together…can’t wait.

Pregnancy rhinitis

From babycenter.com

Why do I feel congested all the time?

Believe it or not, it’s pretty common to have a runny or stuffed-up nose during pregnancy. Up to 30 percent of pregnant women have congestion without having allergies or a viral infection like the common cold. This condition even has a name: rhinitis of pregnancy.

It can start as early as your second month and tends to worsen later in pregnancy. The congestion should ease up soon after you give birth and be gone completely within two weeks after delivery.

Higher amounts of estrogen during pregnancy can contribute to swelling in the mucous membranes lining the nose and even cause you to make more mucus. What’s more, the amount of blood in your body increases during pregnancy, which may cause swelling in the tiny blood vessels in the lining of your nose and congestion in the surrounding tissue. Other hormones may also play a role.

How can I tell if my congestion is due to my pregnancy or to something else?

If you have no other symptoms, it’s probably rhinitis of pregnancy. If your stuffy nose is accompanied by sneezing, coughing, a sore throat, mild aches and pains, or possibly swollen glands or a fever, you probably do have a cold or another infection.

By the way, sinus infections are more common in pregnancy. If you have symptoms of sinusitis, such as fever, headache, green or yellow mucus, facial pain or pressure (which may feel worse when you bend forward), an upper jaw ache, or a decreased sense of smell, call your caregiver.

On the other hand, if you have a stuffy or runny nose with watery mucus, along with sneezing and itchy eyes, nose, throat, or ears, then allergies are a likely culprit. Allergies during pregnancy are unpredictable: They may improve or get worse, or you may find that you’re sensitive to allergens and other irritants that never bothered you before.

Of course, you won’t always be able to tell what’s causing your congestion, and it’s possible that there’s more than one cause. For example, you could be suffering from allergies as well as rhinitis of pregnancy.

What can I do for relief?

Drink plenty of fluids and keep your head elevated at night. These measures can also be helpful:

• Steam can temporarily relieve congestion and it’s often very soothing. Take a warm shower and hang out for a while afterward in the steamy bathroom. Or moisten a washcloth with hot water, hold it up to your face, and breathe.
• Try saline nose drops or a buffered saline nasal spray, available over the counter at the drugstore. Spritz or drip a bit into each nostril and within five or ten minutes you should be able to blow your nose more easily.
• Use a humidifier or vaporizer to put more moisture into the air and keep it near your head at night. Be sure to follow the cleaning instructions that came with your humidifier. Change the water daily since it can become a breeding ground for bacteria. You’ll need to replace the filter often as well.
• Use extra pillows to elevate your head when lying down to rest or sleep. (This can help relieve heartburn, too.)
• Exercise sometimes helps to ease a stuffy nose. Avoid exercising outdoors on days when there’s a lot of air pollution, which may irritate your nasal passages and make your congestion worse.
• Avoid potential irritants, such as cigarette smoke, alcohol, paint and chemical fumes (all of which you should be avoiding anyway!), as well as anything that triggers your symptoms.

Are there any medications I can take?

If your congestion continues to make you miserable, tell your practitioner about your symptoms and ask which medications are safe for you to try. It’s generally best to avoid taking any medications during your first trimester, when your baby’s organs are forming, unless it’s really necessary (for example, to control asthma) and has been prescribed by your caregiver.

If your practitioner says it’s okay, you can try a decongestant. Avoid overusing decongestant nasal sprays, though, because they can cause rebound inflammation and make your congestion much worse.