Hormones

Hormones are to be blamed for anything and everything during PMS/pregnancy. They are the chemicals that balance us (or not) and are largely responsible for mental health.

I read so much about pregnant women bursting into tears at the slightest thing. Found it funny and ridiculous, having experienced them myself during the first time.

I cried because I didn’t want to go to work. I cried because I’m at work. I cried as people said ‘good morning’ to me. I cried because I saw an advertisement on the bus, featuring a guy with a long arm reaching into a present.

I laughed reading women bursting into tears at a commercial (totally relatable), a movie, an article, or just because someone was too nice or too mean to them.

I didn’t experience much of these crying saga this time round. More angsty and moody than anything.

The first time I burst crying – I’m talking about HUGE sobs, heaving, uncontrollable tearing kind – was because I didn’t get cake during an office celebration. Yep, you read it right.

There was a birthday and they passed down the cake slices by aisle. They assumed my aisle of colleagues have gotten ours (so it wasn’t just me that didn’t get it. 3 of us didn’t) and when I realized that we were left out and there was NO MORE cake left, hot tears sprung into my eyes.

I ran to the bathroom and immediately went into a heaving state. The kind where your eyes blur instantaneously and you howl and your body shakes from immense sadness. It was THAT sad. I had to cover my mouth to stop sounds escaping and raising alarm to toilet-goers. I was fine really, it wasn’t even about the cake, I just felt SO SAD that I DIDN’T have cake. Although, the irony is, if someone had shown or given me cake, I would have burst into more tears.

The more I tried to stop, the more I cried. It took me 10 minutes to finally subside. It was ridiculously funny and silly that this overwhelming sadness just overtakes me. Because after that, I felt ok.

That’s why I said hormones are to blame.

It was obvious I’d been crying and I was very glad that it was close to end of work day. It is the first (of many?) ridiculous funny stories that you can blame hormones on. 😉

Hiccups!

With the many nudges and pushes and other strange feelings going around in your womb, only with time would you be able to recognize the different movements.

It is a magical feeling to have. Wonderful, exhilarating, anxious, annoying and reassuring at the same time.

I learnt to differentiate the bubbling and gas, the tummy rumbling and baby movements, the nudging, cramps and stitches as part of baby’s exploratory stages.

Ours is a curious girl. She nudges her way, feeling my womb walls and does somersaults, dives and yoga.

Today, I felt the steady ‘thud thud thud’ and realized she’s hiccupping! A quick google search confirmed this… it felt funny…like she was knocking but it was a dull beat in succession. And you just know that it’s hiccups.

At 27 weeks.

The Belly Button Affair

How many of you experienced the protruding belly button during pregnancy?

How many of you have seen that belly button proudly pushing through clothes on pregnant women?

I have an outie. For those who have no clue what an outie or innie belly button is, here’s the difference.

Innie navel. Just a hole with no outer skin.

Outie navel with layers of skin surrounding the hole

Here is a modest belly button during pregnancy. Depending on how your skin stretches, it can get really out there… poking through your clothes and leading the way.

howshealth.com

It’s uncomfortable when the skin stretches taut and tight over your belly. Gets itchy too. That’s why we use lots of Vitamin E, cocoa butter, stretch mark creams to provide relief to dry, stretched skin.

It’s a badge of honour of pregnancy really. Your body undergoing changes to produce a miracle – another being in your body with the will of God.

I’ve had comments of:

‘It looks so funny.’
It looks weird.’
‘Why don’t you cover it? It’s like so obvious.’

Each making you feel even more insecure about your changing body. Each comment said with no inkling of what it does to you.

And then you have those who reach out to help themselves by rubbing your tummy UNINVITED or even playing with your belly button. I didn’t know that being pregnant means my extended body is now public property. I don’t have qualms letting people touch my belly or if I take their hands and let them feel my tightness or when little one is bulging out one side of my tummy. However, there is still a violation when one just reaches out and starts feeling your tum-tum!

It’s the same if someone just reaches out and fondles your boobs just cos they are ‘external’ 😡 It’s still violation.

Anyways… I digress. There are belly button covers available, like those rubber silicone gel to paste over your navel. They are costly though and given the amount of sweating we are doing, that’s the last thing you want sticking to your skin.

If you are wearing maternity pants, the band to support your preggy tummy plus your longer top would reduce the protrusion. With leggings and normal top however, your button would proudly shove through… not like an erection! It’s not so vulgar but you definitely attract stares as someone walks in the opposite direction towards you. It’s perfectly normal. They are just wondering if that’s normal or if that’s a plug that you pull when you are going to give birth 😛

I nearly wanted to cover it up due to the comments I received but hubby’s been a really supportive force. He said no need to cover up as this is all part of pregnancy. Let naysayers be naysayers. What do they know? Just because they haven’t gone through it/didn’t go through it, doesn’t mean someone else aka me is not going through it.

I’m so fortunate he has been really supportive of me and my changing body rather than taking a disgust at it. Normally, we are already insecure. Plus pregnancy changes and hormones… you really test yourself and your partner’s limits. Hahahhaha.

Thank you God for giving me this gem who helps me tide through my/our challenges… it wasn’t easy. It’s beyond trying when he doesn’t understand or he tries to yet still doesn’t get it and I end up in a crying, frustrated, hurt mess. I’m always happy that we are still together, stronger, and more loving. Thank you for helping us.

Body changes Week 12 – 26

Look at how much my womb as expanded these few months   You have 3 more months to put on 2kg to be an estimated weight of 2.8kg. Can’t imagine the back pain and leg pains I will go through but it’s all going to be worth it 🙂

Old folks tale is that my tummy is pointy instead of wide – which is a general stereotype that I’m expecting a boy. I don’t believe in pantangs or superstitions much. It will just make me stress. What matters most is you are a happy and healthy baby.

I’m sooo round now, both in facial features, and my tummy. And like I say… it’s all going to get worse. I don’t mean it in a bad way. More like, a literal way. I’m going to get even bigger and heavier, my legs will ache and I am anticipating even more changes.

So far, my feet haven’t swelled up much. It’s plumped up for sure but not swollen from water retention. I’m thankful that I’ve always been a heavy water drinker (to combat the heavy thighs) and I started sleeping with my legs up ever since I found out about you. We are doing well, sweetheart, and Daddy’s been working hard and helping Mummy with chores and other duties.

To a bigger watermelon tummy and bulat (rounder) face for me!

Week 26

It’s now week 26. You are 800g and very active.

Your small nose looks like mine. Daddy has a sharp nose… let’s see how your features develop from here. You are very active, my darling. You nudge, push, kick and you like to lepak your legs up against the left wall of my womb or under my left ribcage. Sometimes (more times now…) I can feel your weight going all the way down on top of my bladder/uterus/vagina. The weight shift is SOOOO heavy and makes me go toilet (even more) often than usual!

You are such a cutie pie, my dear girl. My heart bursts with emotions every time I see you doing your kung fu, yoga, stretches etc. Catching you unaware is one of the best things I’ll do till I see you in the flesh. It took me a few months to ease up on the anxiety. A loss is still a loss, no matter how long.

Both your hands were up. We saw you pulling your hand in to suck your thumb 🙂

I’m now a whopping 70 kg from my fluctuating normal weight of 58-62kg. I’m heavy-boned and (used to) have high metabolism. After birth, I must endeavor to go down to 55kg. I’m sure you’ll help me by latching and taking away the excess weight 😉

My legs are really tired and aching. Daddy bought me Fitflops and Skechers slippers. Very pain you know and I walk home from Khatib mrt EVERY DAY! Which I’m grateful for as it helps strengthen my legs and gives the exercise I need.

You respond to my taps on my tummy. As I’m writing this, you are literally kicking up a storm inside! I’m v v v happy that you are so active, my darling. Words cannot justify how happy we are to know all is well with you.

I love you.