Everything is going down… in a good way!

Learning to deal with the fatigue, aches, pain and discomfort is very challenging.

I remember my first trimester – battling nausea, headaches, sleepiness. Mornings and evenings vomiting with hubs holding my hair and massaging my neck. Trying to stop the vertigo on the way to work and battling crowds. Because you are still not showing in the first trimester, you just come across as pale and sick. No one would give you a seat (even now, though I’m heavily pregnant. Available seats are a commodity in SG!) and you struggle to keep your nausea from colleagues until you have confirmed or the first developmental months are over.

There were days that I drifted off to sleep during work. Eyes rolling about like I was possessed and then fatigue overwhelmed me. At home, the bed was a lovely companion. I just wanted to embrace the covers and never let go.

Napping as and when you can (truly catnaps!) helps recharge. I am lucky to have a corner in the office where staff goes to sleep. If you don’t have such a nook, your desk would have to do. Unfortunately, as you get bigger, you can’t lean forward to rest. I have a stool to put my legs up and I have a thick cushion for my back, another cushion for my bump and cover myself with a shawl before I sleep.

Due to relaxing muscles and ligaments, everything is in pain. I’d rather say discomfort because little one isn’t causing me pain. J She’s a joy to carry, so active and curious, and we can’t wait to welcome her!

All these discomfort (difficulty in turning and walking, discomfort down there, discomfort everywhere!) drains my energy, or whatever I have left. She is very active so I break out in (more) cold sweat too.

I used to say ‘Everything is going to get worse’ and I mean it in the best way possible. You and I know that clothes get smaller and tighter, your mood isn’t up to date, your appetite/sense of smell is way off and your aches get worse. It’s all part of this wonderful journey.

Miscarriage isn’t a dirty word.

Although it’s very common (3 out of 4 women would have had a miscarriage before 20 weeks), it is not a trivial matter.

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It is not right to say ‘It’s very common, don’t be sad’ because we are talking about a life(s). We are not talking about getting a cold.

I was lying on the bed, in discomfort from the bulging pain on my uterus/pelvis, and was sharing my readings with hubs that “round ligament pain are more often felt in second pregnancies. That’s so weird. I’d have thought first pregnancy would be when you are stretching and all. And this is so uncomfortable..the weight, pressure and pain pressing on me!”

He gently reminded me that this isn’t my first. I inhaled sharply – both from the pressure pain and from the memory.

I remember that when I finally declared on facebook (my connections are people I actually know. I like to keep my network tight) I’d lost a child and it’s common and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Some people contacted me privately to share their stories of loss. I’d just met an ex-colleague who shared he and his wife went through it as well and it was hard on both of them. The emotions are being opened up again now because they were expecting the same time as their cousin…and that cousin is due soon.

In my heart and mind, I never forget my first. I send prayers his/her way all the time and in a little way, I relive those anguished moments. The bleeding, the confusion, the resentment of my body, the babies popping out everywhere (even my closest friends were having babies).

I saw a gift set of a girl which had a lovely cat stitched on it at Kiddy Palace when we were looking for a gift and before we got pregnant. Immediately, I teared because the little one could have worn that.

It’s not easy but it gets easier when you grief and overcome those stages. Holding it in or pretending it didn’t happen would just open up raw wounds later on.

People who don’t understand or think they are doing you a favour of being tough really isn’t. Again, loss is not something easily comprehensible unless you’ve gone through it.

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Runny nose – pregnancy rhinitis

I was sneezing and my nose was dripping. It felt like sinus (without the pain) and flu (without the fever and body aches). My eyes were watery and I felt so uncomfortable as the tickle and trickle of the nasal liquid dripped down.

Sleeping took even longer as I tried to decongest my nose or tried not to sneeze everywhere.

I had the pregnancy runny nose, otherwise known as rhinitis.

Well, at least a runny nose is better than a stuffy nose no? 😦

The phlegm should be watery and clear, with the occasional opaque whitish kind, but if it starts to change colour to green/yellow/brown, you know you are just kidding yourself. That’s an infection. Plus, if you have fever and body aches, well gee, good luck, that’s the sign you have the flu or cold.

I look like I was crying with my watery eyes and sneezing at everything. It wasn’t often – I had it in the morning (lasted a few hours) and at night when I’m sleeping. It gets triggered even more when I kiss the cats or the place is dusty.

I never like taking medicines. That principle was more firmly strengthened when doctors couldn’t explain why I was bleeding during my first miscarriage. I bled non-stop for about 2 months and they just couldn’t explain why.I thought if a professional couldn’t tell me what’s wrong, who can? And why should I take their meds?

(This is the link about me starting bleeding while I was pregnant with my first)

So I turned to natural remedies and alternative/natural healing. Basically, nourishing my body so it will fight on its own.

I took manuka honey instead of sugar with my milo or tea. I had a cup of warm honey whenever I felt the ticklish throat coming. I didn’t want my pregnancy runny nose developing into a more serious case of flu or cold! That will be awful!

Manuka honey is well-known for:

Preventing and treating cancer

• Reducing high cholesterol
• Reducing systemic inflammation
• Treating diabetes
• Treating eye, ear, and sinus infections
• Treating gastrointestinal problem

(from http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/manuka-honey-medicinal-uses?page=3)

I then had to increase my Vitamin C intake and drown (even more) water. I drink water a lot because I get so thirsty from the pregnancy and weather, so you can imagine how bloated I feel -.- It flushes out toxins and makes you go pee (even so much more) but hey, I didn’t want to feel miserable.

This is the Vitamin C I took from Elken, which you can order from facebook.com/purplespree
(I got the Manuka honey from an overseas trip. If you are getting from local stores, make sure it’s pure manuka honey)

At night, I rubbed Vicks on my chest and on the soles of feet. It helps to ease congestion and for me to breathe easier. Like I said, it wasn’t easy finding a comfortable position to sleep as it is and breathing through your mouth isn’t exactly easy either, considering your baby is pushing against your diaphragm (lungs/ribcage).

The effects are pretty immediate. You go toilet more often, you cough more to expel phlegm, your nose drips more and I’m very glad to say that in 3 days, I feel SO MUCH better. Natural healing will take slightly longer than popping pills but I do believe it helps your body to fight against bacteria through its own strength.

With western medicines aka drugs, you are teaching your body to be dependent on external help. It may even develop resistance to that medicine and that’s why sometimes doctors prescribe other meds… because our body is not responding or is immune to the drugs.

If you don’t like popping Vit C, go au natural! Take loads of oranges (but it does increase phlegm), orange juice, or other Vit C natural products. It will take even longer as you need to have it in large doses.

If I didn’t clear my runnny nose, hubby wouldn’t let me go to a Backstreet Boys’ concert happening tomorrow… we bought tickets sometime back (and it’s not easy to get!) and they are my first childhood boyband that I fell in love with.

After this, there won’t be other concerts I’m going to unless it’s kids-related. So I HAVE to get better or at least, don’t show that I feel so sick.:P

Little one, please behave… mommy wants to see BSB before we pop…then we can sing and dance all we want at home together…can’t wait.

The Belly Button Affair

How many of you experienced the protruding belly button during pregnancy?

How many of you have seen that belly button proudly pushing through clothes on pregnant women?

I have an outie. For those who have no clue what an outie or innie belly button is, here’s the difference.

Innie navel. Just a hole with no outer skin.

Outie navel with layers of skin surrounding the hole

Here is a modest belly button during pregnancy. Depending on how your skin stretches, it can get really out there… poking through your clothes and leading the way.

howshealth.com

It’s uncomfortable when the skin stretches taut and tight over your belly. Gets itchy too. That’s why we use lots of Vitamin E, cocoa butter, stretch mark creams to provide relief to dry, stretched skin.

It’s a badge of honour of pregnancy really. Your body undergoing changes to produce a miracle – another being in your body with the will of God.

I’ve had comments of:

‘It looks so funny.’
It looks weird.’
‘Why don’t you cover it? It’s like so obvious.’

Each making you feel even more insecure about your changing body. Each comment said with no inkling of what it does to you.

And then you have those who reach out to help themselves by rubbing your tummy UNINVITED or even playing with your belly button. I didn’t know that being pregnant means my extended body is now public property. I don’t have qualms letting people touch my belly or if I take their hands and let them feel my tightness or when little one is bulging out one side of my tummy. However, there is still a violation when one just reaches out and starts feeling your tum-tum!

It’s the same if someone just reaches out and fondles your boobs just cos they are ‘external’ 😡 It’s still violation.

Anyways… I digress. There are belly button covers available, like those rubber silicone gel to paste over your navel. They are costly though and given the amount of sweating we are doing, that’s the last thing you want sticking to your skin.

If you are wearing maternity pants, the band to support your preggy tummy plus your longer top would reduce the protrusion. With leggings and normal top however, your button would proudly shove through… not like an erection! It’s not so vulgar but you definitely attract stares as someone walks in the opposite direction towards you. It’s perfectly normal. They are just wondering if that’s normal or if that’s a plug that you pull when you are going to give birth 😛

I nearly wanted to cover it up due to the comments I received but hubby’s been a really supportive force. He said no need to cover up as this is all part of pregnancy. Let naysayers be naysayers. What do they know? Just because they haven’t gone through it/didn’t go through it, doesn’t mean someone else aka me is not going through it.

I’m so fortunate he has been really supportive of me and my changing body rather than taking a disgust at it. Normally, we are already insecure. Plus pregnancy changes and hormones… you really test yourself and your partner’s limits. Hahahhaha.

Thank you God for giving me this gem who helps me tide through my/our challenges… it wasn’t easy. It’s beyond trying when he doesn’t understand or he tries to yet still doesn’t get it and I end up in a crying, frustrated, hurt mess. I’m always happy that we are still together, stronger, and more loving. Thank you for helping us.

Body changes Week 12 – 26

Look at how much my womb as expanded these few months   You have 3 more months to put on 2kg to be an estimated weight of 2.8kg. Can’t imagine the back pain and leg pains I will go through but it’s all going to be worth it 🙂

Old folks tale is that my tummy is pointy instead of wide – which is a general stereotype that I’m expecting a boy. I don’t believe in pantangs or superstitions much. It will just make me stress. What matters most is you are a happy and healthy baby.

I’m sooo round now, both in facial features, and my tummy. And like I say… it’s all going to get worse. I don’t mean it in a bad way. More like, a literal way. I’m going to get even bigger and heavier, my legs will ache and I am anticipating even more changes.

So far, my feet haven’t swelled up much. It’s plumped up for sure but not swollen from water retention. I’m thankful that I’ve always been a heavy water drinker (to combat the heavy thighs) and I started sleeping with my legs up ever since I found out about you. We are doing well, sweetheart, and Daddy’s been working hard and helping Mummy with chores and other duties.

To a bigger watermelon tummy and bulat (rounder) face for me!

Week 26

It’s now week 26. You are 800g and very active.

Your small nose looks like mine. Daddy has a sharp nose… let’s see how your features develop from here. You are very active, my darling. You nudge, push, kick and you like to lepak your legs up against the left wall of my womb or under my left ribcage. Sometimes (more times now…) I can feel your weight going all the way down on top of my bladder/uterus/vagina. The weight shift is SOOOO heavy and makes me go toilet (even more) often than usual!

You are such a cutie pie, my dear girl. My heart bursts with emotions every time I see you doing your kung fu, yoga, stretches etc. Catching you unaware is one of the best things I’ll do till I see you in the flesh. It took me a few months to ease up on the anxiety. A loss is still a loss, no matter how long.

Both your hands were up. We saw you pulling your hand in to suck your thumb 🙂

I’m now a whopping 70 kg from my fluctuating normal weight of 58-62kg. I’m heavy-boned and (used to) have high metabolism. After birth, I must endeavor to go down to 55kg. I’m sure you’ll help me by latching and taking away the excess weight 😉

My legs are really tired and aching. Daddy bought me Fitflops and Skechers slippers. Very pain you know and I walk home from Khatib mrt EVERY DAY! Which I’m grateful for as it helps strengthen my legs and gives the exercise I need.

You respond to my taps on my tummy. As I’m writing this, you are literally kicking up a storm inside! I’m v v v happy that you are so active, my darling. Words cannot justify how happy we are to know all is well with you.

I love you.

it’s week 24! and it’s a hot damn period

3 more month to our estimated due date of 17 july. That’s the estimated date of Hari Raya. Double celebrations for us this year 🙂

The weather has been humid. SG is already humid. I remember coming back to Singapore once a month on my work trips (I was formerly based in Dubai as an Emirates’ stewardess. Dubai is HOT but windy, plus we go everywhere in air-conditioned comfort. Rarely do you need to be out in the sun unless you are waiting for transport or you went to the beach) and complaining of the heavy humidity. I actually couldn’t breathe and I’d sweat buckets.

My body sweats a lot as it is. It doesn’t show on my face but inside I’d be dripping wet and makes me conscious if I had BO or if anyone could see wet patches on my clothes. Hyuk hyuk.

I was warned that I would be sweating loads in pregnancy. I thought I’d be able to handle it, given that I’m a sweat-er (ok, no sexy way to put it), but boy this journey has proven me otherwise.

The haze that affects SG doesn’t help. Haze contributes to a denser atmosphere to our already dense humidity. You sweat profusely but the sweat doesn’t dry easily due to the humidity. Now that I’m a human incubator, my basal body temperature rises, I lose more water, I drink more water, I go toilet much more. Not like the regular trips to toilet isn’t already enough due to the pressure on your bladder???

I drink lots of ‘cooling’ drinks and water. I know some cultures have superstitions that you can’t drink too much ‘cooling’ drinks as you need the heat for the baby. If you don’t subscribe to that, by all means, have lots of water (the best, really), chrysanthemum tea, coconut water (again, some people don’t believe in having this until week 28 or so. But, if you can have it once a week,why not? Moderation is key!

Chrysanthemum tea is very easy to prepare. Get the flowers from the dried goods section of the supermarket or from the sinseh (Traditional Chinese Medicine shops). You can choose to just steep the flowers in a tea strainer in hot water and add sugar to taste or you can boil the flowers and simmer the liquid until the desired taste. Add rock sugar to taste. This brings out the flavour of the flowers. You can keep it in the fridge, ready to drink.

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Easy peasy and so much more cost-effective. A bottle will cost $1.60-$2.50 A packet of chrysanthemum flowers and rock sugar cost about $2.50-$3 and you get to make multiple bottles, anytime you want! And we all know money is tight once your pregnancy costs kick in…

These are the benefits of chrysanthemum, as taken from http://www.bewellbuzz.com/wellness-buzz/10-health-benefits-chrysanthemum-tea/

10 health benefits of Chrysanthemum tea

Chrysanthemum tea is not very famous amongst herb enthusiasts as very few people know about its existence and benefits. Read on to know more about the benefits:

1. Chrysanthemum tea has Vitamin C in which helps ease heaviness in the head during cold and provide relief in sinusitis discomfort. This herbal tea also has antiviral properties and helps relieve congestion in the head which may be caused by viral infection. The heaviness in the head could also be caused due to bacterial pathogenic reaction. Chrysanthemum tea is anti spirochetal in nature thus it is really helpful in easing head congestion.

2. Chrysanthemum tea is naturally caffeine free, hence, it is free from all the side effects of caffeine like anxiety, tension, irritation, nervousness and confusion.

3. Chrysanthemum tea is a natural coolant and helps in lowering the temperature of the body when suffering from fever or even heat stroke. This herbal tea is also helpful in treating pimples and acne. It can also treat discomfort of high temperature such as headache, slight toothache and throbbing nerves in the gums.

4. Chrysanthemum tea is good for the detoxification of the liver andor lowering cholesterol levels.

5. This tea helps in the treatment of coronary artery disease, blocked arteries and even varicose veins.

6. Chrysanthemum tea has stimulating property and helps in alerting the senses and rejuvenating the brain. It stimulates all your senses very quickly and also calms down the nerves.

7. It helps in easing giddiness.

8. Drinking Chrysanthemum tea helps in providing relief in sore throat, redness in the eyes, itchiness in the eyes, dryness in the eyes and dark sport in the eye area.

9. It makes the lungs strong and helps in providing relief in respiratory problems such as shortness of breath.

10. Chrysanthemum tea when taken with lunch or dinner especially with oily foods helps ease digestion.

Pregnancy and constipation

I know a lot of people experience this during pregnancy. Even without pregnancy.

I didn’t suffer from constipation although I was very conscious of it. I didn’t want to get hemorrhoid or have to clean my bowels! Lots of fruits, vegs, fibre, and fluids (juices, soups, water) I say. Really no choice but conscious effort to include all these (plus the other nutrients/vitamins/minerals you need) in your diet.

From babycenter.com

WHY AM I SO CONSTIPATED?

Constipation is a common problem during pregnancy. As many as half of pregnant women get constipated at some point.

 

Inside pregnancy: Weeks 28 to 37

A 3D animated look at a baby in the third trimester of pregnancy.

One culprit is an increase in the hormone progesterone, which relaxes smooth muscles throughout the body, including the digestive tract. This means that food passes through the intestines more slowly. And the problem may be compounded later in pregnancy by the pressure of your growing uterus on your rectum. Iron supplements, particularly in high doses, can make constipation worse.

What can I do about constipation?

Here are some tips for preventing and easing constipation:

• Eat high-fiber foods such as whole-grain cereals and breads, brown rice, beans, and fresh fruits and vegetables every day. Adding a couple of tablespoons of unprocessed wheat bran (available at health food stores) to your cereal in the morning and following it with a glass of water can help, though it may take a few days before you notice a difference.
• Drink plenty of water – at least six to eight glasses a day. A glass of fruit juice every day, especially prune juice, can also be helpful. Some people find that drinking a warm liquid right after waking up helps get things moving.
• Exercise regularly. Walking, swimming, riding a stationary bike, andyoga can all help ease constipation and leave you feeling more fit and healthy.
• Your bowels are most likely to be active after meals, so make time to use the bathroom after you eat. Listen to your body. Never put off going to the bathroom when you feel the urge.
• If your prenatal multivitamin contains a large dose of iron (and you’re not anemic), ask your healthcare provider about switching to a supplement with less iron.
• If the measures above don’t help, talk to your caregiver about taking an over-the-counter fiber supplement or stool softener.

Is constipation ever serious?

Not usually, but occasionally it can be a symptom of another problem. If you have severe constipation that is accompanied by abdominal pain, alternates with diarrhea, or you pass mucus or blood, call your doctor or midwife immediately.

Also, straining during a bowel movement or passing a hard stool can lead to or worsen hemorrhoids, which are swollen veins in the rectal area. Hemorrhoids can be extremely uncomfortable, though they rarely cause serious problems. In most cases, they go away fairly soon after your baby is born. However, if the pain is severe or you have rectal bleeding, call your caregiver so you can be evaluated.

Little fish

After our ordeal, any little movement, symptom, sign is a happy problem. 🙂

It’s hard to know when the exact serious kick or punch was – something I was really looking forward to!!! – but it was more frequent in week 22. Don’t worry, if you can’t feel movements yet. Some feel it as early as week 12/13, average is week 16-20. It all depends on your body. If you don’t feel anything by week 25, tell your gynae (this I know from various pregnancy sites)

At first, the flutters are mistaken as gas. Only you know how gassy you can be 😉 Then, you start distinguishing between movements and bodily functions.

My first kick was after my prenatal massage. When I was unwinding with my cup of tea, the little one jabbed me in the right. I got taken aback because it felt like something popped in me (very quick and sharp burst of bubble). Naturally, I was pleased! Prenatal massages help to relieve the aches and swelling that pregnancy has blessed upon you. Only go to certified prenatal masseuse though. They have been trained to massage specifically for pregnancy needs and we don’t want our massages/masseuse to be blamed should anything untoward happen to our little one.

My masseuse helped to push up my womb a little higher, which helped me feel his/her kicks more. You feel lighter and better as well as your circulation improves and your knots are soothed away.

I began to feel the development of ‘gas bubbles’ more and more. I learnt baby is learning to suck and these create the bubbly feeling plus the movements and learning how to grab/feel things in the womb. They then began to be more pronounced like fishes swimming in your tummy. I could feel the slight cramping/tapping more frequently on my left. And sometimes, I feel a heavier weight leaning to my right. You can actually feel the difference! The left tummy will seem a little empty and then the right bulges and feels very tight. Ask daddy to feel… it’s part of his experience too 🙂

Little fish is very active at night. I hope he/she wouldn’t be a night owl after arrival though!

butterfly kisses

wanelo.com

The first flutter was felt just below my right breast. It felt like a small bubble was stuck there and then a faint electric current of sorts running through you.That was on 8 Feb.

We saw the doctor the next day and NUH treated us well (except for the waiting area which lacked seats).

We didn’t have a great time at KK last year, dealing with their AnE, and although friends differed in their opinions of The Private Suite’s treatment, we didn’t want to risk another negative impression. We narrowed down our choices to NUH, Mt E Novena and TMC. So now that I’m in week 19, it’s just nice that we go and see what NUH has to offer.

Prenatal package starts from week 22 onwards.

Based on last scan, baby’s legs are on my left tummy. And that’s where the majority of my movements are from. It’s a tickle under my left breast now. Sometimes, feeling like a cramp or a current. And sometimes, flutters across. One can only imagine what type of gymnastics little one is up to ;P

The flutters vary from person to person. Some as early as week 13 (muscles more relaxed, or if it’s a second pregnancy), some later on week 20 onwards. No cause for concern unless gynae says so. Every body is different, every pregnancy is unique.

I am looking forward to the first serious kick or punch. Hubby felt the flutters yesterday. Today, little one seems to move a fair bit. I’ll rub my left tummy and smile and send lotsa telepathic hugs and kisses to it. I wonder what it’s doing.

Fluttering aside, I am so enjoying this period where you are ‘normal’ as normal can be in a pregnancy. We got loads of things done, lots of walking, browsing. Yes I get tired very fast and fatigue is catching up on me again. Staying awake at work is SO DIFFICULT.I try to nap during lunch time but it’s hardly enough. You need to eat, rest, and by the time you drift to sleep, lunch time is over.

My next scan is on 10 Mar. Counting down to end-June when I am on maternity leave.

Waiting for more butterfly kisses from little one. You don’t know how it makes us feel to see my tummy growing, the little one moving in scans and feeling the flutters, especially after what happened to us