How we found out about you

Our first angel went back to the Almighty in Feb ’14. You can read about that here.

After a miscarriage, the body takes about 3 months to recover. Just like childbirth. A fellow mommy said that miscarriage is like having 2 births – your body is in shock, preparing for birth that will not happen and fast-forwarding to giving birth, just no baby. That’s how my lump grew. It was a trigger of hormones plus blocked milk ducts. My body was confused and in that confusion, a lump grew. My post about discovering that is available here.

I went to a gynae for a 2nd opinion on my hormones. Unfortunately, 6 mths after, I’m still urinating more often, still experiencing hot flushes, and the mood swings, and my period was irregular. It gave us a few skipped heartbeats every time it came earlier or later, never on time anymore, that I grew tired of charting my menstrual cycle.

The gynae prescibed me Clomid, which i WILL NEVER recommend to anyone, unless you’ve been trying very hard for a child.

The gynae prescribed it to encourage ovulation. His theory was that my body wasn’t ovulating well so since we were trying anyway, this medicine would help my body to stabilise the hormones by actually helping us to get pregnant.

The downside was… I experienced majority, if not ALL, the side effects.

From advancedfertility.com:

Clomid side effects

Clomid treatment has some potential for adverse effects. Side effects are definite “cons” of clomiphene use. Adverse effects are seen in some, but not all women using the drug.

• Mood swings, psychological / emotional side effects
• Hot flashes
• Abdominal discomfort
• Visual disturbances
• Ovarian cyst formation
• Nausea
• Thinning of the uterine endometrial lining
• Reduced production of cervical mucous – this can lower fertility (bypassed by insemination)

I was soooo depressed, Daddy couldn’t bear to see me through it. I was moody, not talking, I just wanted to be alone. On days he worked the afternoons, or if he left for night shift, I cried myself to sleep again and again. It was not a wonderful feeling to have.

When I told people I was on this pill, their reactions were as expected. They didn’t understand. They thought the problem was I couldn’t get pregnant, that I was on drugs (medically) all this time and think what it would do to my liver, I was dependent on drugs to get pregnant, that I was having depression.

I was angered at all that because I sought help as my body didn’t realise it wasn’t pregnant anymore. It should have stabilised after a few months but it was still making me feel that I was carrying child. Which was the opposite of what the general population would go through – the body would rectify itself and try to normalise everything.

I wasn’t trying to get pregnant yet – we took it as it is but I was just a mess. I couldn’t get my words out to Daddy…I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. I didn’t even know why I was feeling this way. And he didn’t know how to help me either.

So clomid it was.

And the gynae said we should continue trying as there is an egg to be fertilised. I wasn’t about to let my mood swings and depression go to waste. Or everything that I’d gone through so I made Daddy promise he will try with me.

I kinda forced him actually. He works shifts, meaning he had to put in extra effort and energy, to fulfill this for me.

And so we tried.

My period was as usual, late, and I didn’t want to test although Daddy said we should. I didn’t want to be disappointed like all the previous months when my period was late.

That day, I remember, Daddy was sleeping when I decided that ok, I shall test. Just get it over and done with. We had bought lots of the $1.80 pregnancy test kit from Mustafa, courtesy of Mommy’s best friend’s recommendation. (A branded test kit costs about $20 ok) I was going to work so it was early morning.

I tested and bright as day, it had two lines. Just like the first time.

I rushed to wake Daddy and shoved the kit in his face. He had this Huh look and half-smile, thinking if it’s what I was showing him. We both didn’t dare to be too excited in case it was a false alarm. So the plan was I’d get to work and test again, buying a branded test kit from the supermarket to be sure.

I tested and the result was again, positive.

That was on 6 Nov 2014. You were then called Baby Clo.

Pregnancy rhinitis

From babycenter.com

Why do I feel congested all the time?

Believe it or not, it’s pretty common to have a runny or stuffed-up nose during pregnancy. Up to 30 percent of pregnant women have congestion without having allergies or a viral infection like the common cold. This condition even has a name: rhinitis of pregnancy.

It can start as early as your second month and tends to worsen later in pregnancy. The congestion should ease up soon after you give birth and be gone completely within two weeks after delivery.

Higher amounts of estrogen during pregnancy can contribute to swelling in the mucous membranes lining the nose and even cause you to make more mucus. What’s more, the amount of blood in your body increases during pregnancy, which may cause swelling in the tiny blood vessels in the lining of your nose and congestion in the surrounding tissue. Other hormones may also play a role.

How can I tell if my congestion is due to my pregnancy or to something else?

If you have no other symptoms, it’s probably rhinitis of pregnancy. If your stuffy nose is accompanied by sneezing, coughing, a sore throat, mild aches and pains, or possibly swollen glands or a fever, you probably do have a cold or another infection.

By the way, sinus infections are more common in pregnancy. If you have symptoms of sinusitis, such as fever, headache, green or yellow mucus, facial pain or pressure (which may feel worse when you bend forward), an upper jaw ache, or a decreased sense of smell, call your caregiver.

On the other hand, if you have a stuffy or runny nose with watery mucus, along with sneezing and itchy eyes, nose, throat, or ears, then allergies are a likely culprit. Allergies during pregnancy are unpredictable: They may improve or get worse, or you may find that you’re sensitive to allergens and other irritants that never bothered you before.

Of course, you won’t always be able to tell what’s causing your congestion, and it’s possible that there’s more than one cause. For example, you could be suffering from allergies as well as rhinitis of pregnancy.

What can I do for relief?

Drink plenty of fluids and keep your head elevated at night. These measures can also be helpful:

• Steam can temporarily relieve congestion and it’s often very soothing. Take a warm shower and hang out for a while afterward in the steamy bathroom. Or moisten a washcloth with hot water, hold it up to your face, and breathe.
• Try saline nose drops or a buffered saline nasal spray, available over the counter at the drugstore. Spritz or drip a bit into each nostril and within five or ten minutes you should be able to blow your nose more easily.
• Use a humidifier or vaporizer to put more moisture into the air and keep it near your head at night. Be sure to follow the cleaning instructions that came with your humidifier. Change the water daily since it can become a breeding ground for bacteria. You’ll need to replace the filter often as well.
• Use extra pillows to elevate your head when lying down to rest or sleep. (This can help relieve heartburn, too.)
• Exercise sometimes helps to ease a stuffy nose. Avoid exercising outdoors on days when there’s a lot of air pollution, which may irritate your nasal passages and make your congestion worse.
• Avoid potential irritants, such as cigarette smoke, alcohol, paint and chemical fumes (all of which you should be avoiding anyway!), as well as anything that triggers your symptoms.

Are there any medications I can take?

If your congestion continues to make you miserable, tell your practitioner about your symptoms and ask which medications are safe for you to try. It’s generally best to avoid taking any medications during your first trimester, when your baby’s organs are forming, unless it’s really necessary (for example, to control asthma) and has been prescribed by your caregiver.

If your practitioner says it’s okay, you can try a decongestant. Avoid overusing decongestant nasal sprays, though, because they can cause rebound inflammation and make your congestion much worse.

Hormones

Hormones are to be blamed for anything and everything during PMS/pregnancy. They are the chemicals that balance us (or not) and are largely responsible for mental health.

I read so much about pregnant women bursting into tears at the slightest thing. Found it funny and ridiculous, having experienced them myself during the first time.

I cried because I didn’t want to go to work. I cried because I’m at work. I cried as people said ‘good morning’ to me. I cried because I saw an advertisement on the bus, featuring a guy with a long arm reaching into a present.

I laughed reading women bursting into tears at a commercial (totally relatable), a movie, an article, or just because someone was too nice or too mean to them.

I didn’t experience much of these crying saga this time round. More angsty and moody than anything.

The first time I burst crying – I’m talking about HUGE sobs, heaving, uncontrollable tearing kind – was because I didn’t get cake during an office celebration. Yep, you read it right.

There was a birthday and they passed down the cake slices by aisle. They assumed my aisle of colleagues have gotten ours (so it wasn’t just me that didn’t get it. 3 of us didn’t) and when I realized that we were left out and there was NO MORE cake left, hot tears sprung into my eyes.

I ran to the bathroom and immediately went into a heaving state. The kind where your eyes blur instantaneously and you howl and your body shakes from immense sadness. It was THAT sad. I had to cover my mouth to stop sounds escaping and raising alarm to toilet-goers. I was fine really, it wasn’t even about the cake, I just felt SO SAD that I DIDN’T have cake. Although, the irony is, if someone had shown or given me cake, I would have burst into more tears.

The more I tried to stop, the more I cried. It took me 10 minutes to finally subside. It was ridiculously funny and silly that this overwhelming sadness just overtakes me. Because after that, I felt ok.

That’s why I said hormones are to blame.

It was obvious I’d been crying and I was very glad that it was close to end of work day. It is the first (of many?) ridiculous funny stories that you can blame hormones on. 😉

Hiccups!

With the many nudges and pushes and other strange feelings going around in your womb, only with time would you be able to recognize the different movements.

It is a magical feeling to have. Wonderful, exhilarating, anxious, annoying and reassuring at the same time.

I learnt to differentiate the bubbling and gas, the tummy rumbling and baby movements, the nudging, cramps and stitches as part of baby’s exploratory stages.

Ours is a curious girl. She nudges her way, feeling my womb walls and does somersaults, dives and yoga.

Today, I felt the steady ‘thud thud thud’ and realized she’s hiccupping! A quick google search confirmed this… it felt funny…like she was knocking but it was a dull beat in succession. And you just know that it’s hiccups.

At 27 weeks.

The Belly Button Affair

How many of you experienced the protruding belly button during pregnancy?

How many of you have seen that belly button proudly pushing through clothes on pregnant women?

I have an outie. For those who have no clue what an outie or innie belly button is, here’s the difference.

Innie navel. Just a hole with no outer skin.

Outie navel with layers of skin surrounding the hole

Here is a modest belly button during pregnancy. Depending on how your skin stretches, it can get really out there… poking through your clothes and leading the way.

howshealth.com

It’s uncomfortable when the skin stretches taut and tight over your belly. Gets itchy too. That’s why we use lots of Vitamin E, cocoa butter, stretch mark creams to provide relief to dry, stretched skin.

It’s a badge of honour of pregnancy really. Your body undergoing changes to produce a miracle – another being in your body with the will of God.

I’ve had comments of:

‘It looks so funny.’
It looks weird.’
‘Why don’t you cover it? It’s like so obvious.’

Each making you feel even more insecure about your changing body. Each comment said with no inkling of what it does to you.

And then you have those who reach out to help themselves by rubbing your tummy UNINVITED or even playing with your belly button. I didn’t know that being pregnant means my extended body is now public property. I don’t have qualms letting people touch my belly or if I take their hands and let them feel my tightness or when little one is bulging out one side of my tummy. However, there is still a violation when one just reaches out and starts feeling your tum-tum!

It’s the same if someone just reaches out and fondles your boobs just cos they are ‘external’ 😡 It’s still violation.

Anyways… I digress. There are belly button covers available, like those rubber silicone gel to paste over your navel. They are costly though and given the amount of sweating we are doing, that’s the last thing you want sticking to your skin.

If you are wearing maternity pants, the band to support your preggy tummy plus your longer top would reduce the protrusion. With leggings and normal top however, your button would proudly shove through… not like an erection! It’s not so vulgar but you definitely attract stares as someone walks in the opposite direction towards you. It’s perfectly normal. They are just wondering if that’s normal or if that’s a plug that you pull when you are going to give birth 😛

I nearly wanted to cover it up due to the comments I received but hubby’s been a really supportive force. He said no need to cover up as this is all part of pregnancy. Let naysayers be naysayers. What do they know? Just because they haven’t gone through it/didn’t go through it, doesn’t mean someone else aka me is not going through it.

I’m so fortunate he has been really supportive of me and my changing body rather than taking a disgust at it. Normally, we are already insecure. Plus pregnancy changes and hormones… you really test yourself and your partner’s limits. Hahahhaha.

Thank you God for giving me this gem who helps me tide through my/our challenges… it wasn’t easy. It’s beyond trying when he doesn’t understand or he tries to yet still doesn’t get it and I end up in a crying, frustrated, hurt mess. I’m always happy that we are still together, stronger, and more loving. Thank you for helping us.

Body changes Week 12 – 26

Look at how much my womb as expanded these few months   You have 3 more months to put on 2kg to be an estimated weight of 2.8kg. Can’t imagine the back pain and leg pains I will go through but it’s all going to be worth it 🙂

Old folks tale is that my tummy is pointy instead of wide – which is a general stereotype that I’m expecting a boy. I don’t believe in pantangs or superstitions much. It will just make me stress. What matters most is you are a happy and healthy baby.

I’m sooo round now, both in facial features, and my tummy. And like I say… it’s all going to get worse. I don’t mean it in a bad way. More like, a literal way. I’m going to get even bigger and heavier, my legs will ache and I am anticipating even more changes.

So far, my feet haven’t swelled up much. It’s plumped up for sure but not swollen from water retention. I’m thankful that I’ve always been a heavy water drinker (to combat the heavy thighs) and I started sleeping with my legs up ever since I found out about you. We are doing well, sweetheart, and Daddy’s been working hard and helping Mummy with chores and other duties.

To a bigger watermelon tummy and bulat (rounder) face for me!

Week 26

It’s now week 26. You are 800g and very active.

Your small nose looks like mine. Daddy has a sharp nose… let’s see how your features develop from here. You are very active, my darling. You nudge, push, kick and you like to lepak your legs up against the left wall of my womb or under my left ribcage. Sometimes (more times now…) I can feel your weight going all the way down on top of my bladder/uterus/vagina. The weight shift is SOOOO heavy and makes me go toilet (even more) often than usual!

You are such a cutie pie, my dear girl. My heart bursts with emotions every time I see you doing your kung fu, yoga, stretches etc. Catching you unaware is one of the best things I’ll do till I see you in the flesh. It took me a few months to ease up on the anxiety. A loss is still a loss, no matter how long.

Both your hands were up. We saw you pulling your hand in to suck your thumb 🙂

I’m now a whopping 70 kg from my fluctuating normal weight of 58-62kg. I’m heavy-boned and (used to) have high metabolism. After birth, I must endeavor to go down to 55kg. I’m sure you’ll help me by latching and taking away the excess weight 😉

My legs are really tired and aching. Daddy bought me Fitflops and Skechers slippers. Very pain you know and I walk home from Khatib mrt EVERY DAY! Which I’m grateful for as it helps strengthen my legs and gives the exercise I need.

You respond to my taps on my tummy. As I’m writing this, you are literally kicking up a storm inside! I’m v v v happy that you are so active, my darling. Words cannot justify how happy we are to know all is well with you.

I love you.

it’s week 24! and it’s a hot damn period

3 more month to our estimated due date of 17 july. That’s the estimated date of Hari Raya. Double celebrations for us this year 🙂

The weather has been humid. SG is already humid. I remember coming back to Singapore once a month on my work trips (I was formerly based in Dubai as an Emirates’ stewardess. Dubai is HOT but windy, plus we go everywhere in air-conditioned comfort. Rarely do you need to be out in the sun unless you are waiting for transport or you went to the beach) and complaining of the heavy humidity. I actually couldn’t breathe and I’d sweat buckets.

My body sweats a lot as it is. It doesn’t show on my face but inside I’d be dripping wet and makes me conscious if I had BO or if anyone could see wet patches on my clothes. Hyuk hyuk.

I was warned that I would be sweating loads in pregnancy. I thought I’d be able to handle it, given that I’m a sweat-er (ok, no sexy way to put it), but boy this journey has proven me otherwise.

The haze that affects SG doesn’t help. Haze contributes to a denser atmosphere to our already dense humidity. You sweat profusely but the sweat doesn’t dry easily due to the humidity. Now that I’m a human incubator, my basal body temperature rises, I lose more water, I drink more water, I go toilet much more. Not like the regular trips to toilet isn’t already enough due to the pressure on your bladder???

I drink lots of ‘cooling’ drinks and water. I know some cultures have superstitions that you can’t drink too much ‘cooling’ drinks as you need the heat for the baby. If you don’t subscribe to that, by all means, have lots of water (the best, really), chrysanthemum tea, coconut water (again, some people don’t believe in having this until week 28 or so. But, if you can have it once a week,why not? Moderation is key!

Chrysanthemum tea is very easy to prepare. Get the flowers from the dried goods section of the supermarket or from the sinseh (Traditional Chinese Medicine shops). You can choose to just steep the flowers in a tea strainer in hot water and add sugar to taste or you can boil the flowers and simmer the liquid until the desired taste. Add rock sugar to taste. This brings out the flavour of the flowers. You can keep it in the fridge, ready to drink.

pinterest.com

Easy peasy and so much more cost-effective. A bottle will cost $1.60-$2.50 A packet of chrysanthemum flowers and rock sugar cost about $2.50-$3 and you get to make multiple bottles, anytime you want! And we all know money is tight once your pregnancy costs kick in…

These are the benefits of chrysanthemum, as taken from http://www.bewellbuzz.com/wellness-buzz/10-health-benefits-chrysanthemum-tea/

10 health benefits of Chrysanthemum tea

Chrysanthemum tea is not very famous amongst herb enthusiasts as very few people know about its existence and benefits. Read on to know more about the benefits:

1. Chrysanthemum tea has Vitamin C in which helps ease heaviness in the head during cold and provide relief in sinusitis discomfort. This herbal tea also has antiviral properties and helps relieve congestion in the head which may be caused by viral infection. The heaviness in the head could also be caused due to bacterial pathogenic reaction. Chrysanthemum tea is anti spirochetal in nature thus it is really helpful in easing head congestion.

2. Chrysanthemum tea is naturally caffeine free, hence, it is free from all the side effects of caffeine like anxiety, tension, irritation, nervousness and confusion.

3. Chrysanthemum tea is a natural coolant and helps in lowering the temperature of the body when suffering from fever or even heat stroke. This herbal tea is also helpful in treating pimples and acne. It can also treat discomfort of high temperature such as headache, slight toothache and throbbing nerves in the gums.

4. Chrysanthemum tea is good for the detoxification of the liver andor lowering cholesterol levels.

5. This tea helps in the treatment of coronary artery disease, blocked arteries and even varicose veins.

6. Chrysanthemum tea has stimulating property and helps in alerting the senses and rejuvenating the brain. It stimulates all your senses very quickly and also calms down the nerves.

7. It helps in easing giddiness.

8. Drinking Chrysanthemum tea helps in providing relief in sore throat, redness in the eyes, itchiness in the eyes, dryness in the eyes and dark sport in the eye area.

9. It makes the lungs strong and helps in providing relief in respiratory problems such as shortness of breath.

10. Chrysanthemum tea when taken with lunch or dinner especially with oily foods helps ease digestion.

Little fish

After our ordeal, any little movement, symptom, sign is a happy problem. 🙂

It’s hard to know when the exact serious kick or punch was – something I was really looking forward to!!! – but it was more frequent in week 22. Don’t worry, if you can’t feel movements yet. Some feel it as early as week 12/13, average is week 16-20. It all depends on your body. If you don’t feel anything by week 25, tell your gynae (this I know from various pregnancy sites)

At first, the flutters are mistaken as gas. Only you know how gassy you can be 😉 Then, you start distinguishing between movements and bodily functions.

My first kick was after my prenatal massage. When I was unwinding with my cup of tea, the little one jabbed me in the right. I got taken aback because it felt like something popped in me (very quick and sharp burst of bubble). Naturally, I was pleased! Prenatal massages help to relieve the aches and swelling that pregnancy has blessed upon you. Only go to certified prenatal masseuse though. They have been trained to massage specifically for pregnancy needs and we don’t want our massages/masseuse to be blamed should anything untoward happen to our little one.

My masseuse helped to push up my womb a little higher, which helped me feel his/her kicks more. You feel lighter and better as well as your circulation improves and your knots are soothed away.

I began to feel the development of ‘gas bubbles’ more and more. I learnt baby is learning to suck and these create the bubbly feeling plus the movements and learning how to grab/feel things in the womb. They then began to be more pronounced like fishes swimming in your tummy. I could feel the slight cramping/tapping more frequently on my left. And sometimes, I feel a heavier weight leaning to my right. You can actually feel the difference! The left tummy will seem a little empty and then the right bulges and feels very tight. Ask daddy to feel… it’s part of his experience too 🙂

Little fish is very active at night. I hope he/she wouldn’t be a night owl after arrival though!

butterfly kisses

wanelo.com

The first flutter was felt just below my right breast. It felt like a small bubble was stuck there and then a faint electric current of sorts running through you.That was on 8 Feb.

We saw the doctor the next day and NUH treated us well (except for the waiting area which lacked seats).

We didn’t have a great time at KK last year, dealing with their AnE, and although friends differed in their opinions of The Private Suite’s treatment, we didn’t want to risk another negative impression. We narrowed down our choices to NUH, Mt E Novena and TMC. So now that I’m in week 19, it’s just nice that we go and see what NUH has to offer.

Prenatal package starts from week 22 onwards.

Based on last scan, baby’s legs are on my left tummy. And that’s where the majority of my movements are from. It’s a tickle under my left breast now. Sometimes, feeling like a cramp or a current. And sometimes, flutters across. One can only imagine what type of gymnastics little one is up to ;P

The flutters vary from person to person. Some as early as week 13 (muscles more relaxed, or if it’s a second pregnancy), some later on week 20 onwards. No cause for concern unless gynae says so. Every body is different, every pregnancy is unique.

I am looking forward to the first serious kick or punch. Hubby felt the flutters yesterday. Today, little one seems to move a fair bit. I’ll rub my left tummy and smile and send lotsa telepathic hugs and kisses to it. I wonder what it’s doing.

Fluttering aside, I am so enjoying this period where you are ‘normal’ as normal can be in a pregnancy. We got loads of things done, lots of walking, browsing. Yes I get tired very fast and fatigue is catching up on me again. Staying awake at work is SO DIFFICULT.I try to nap during lunch time but it’s hardly enough. You need to eat, rest, and by the time you drift to sleep, lunch time is over.

My next scan is on 10 Mar. Counting down to end-June when I am on maternity leave.

Waiting for more butterfly kisses from little one. You don’t know how it makes us feel to see my tummy growing, the little one moving in scans and feeling the flutters, especially after what happened to us